


The statistical probability of drowning in an elevator.

by BornofFlame



Series: Sanders Sides One Shots [18]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Remus is [playing undercover boss, aren't we all tho?, logan hates his job, logan is Done, remus loves his thjo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26591221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BornofFlame/pseuds/BornofFlame
Summary: Logan relies on statistics. it's a pity no one else seems to be on the same page.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides One Shots [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878814
Comments: 9
Kudos: 92





	The statistical probability of drowning in an elevator.

**Author's Note:**

> hey pals!
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> -starships/satellite/ky

Logan was a man of his word.If he was asked to be at the meeting at seven, he’d arrive at six thirty just to make sure the other person would not have to wait.

Another thing he cared deeply about was facts. The fact that you were more likely to be crushed by a vending machine than win the lottery, or that more people died from cow attacks than shark attacks.

Or the statistical probability that you would drown in an elevator was low—

But never zero.

There was always a chance.

It was one of his rare days, when he was running late to a board meeting that would determine some Fortune 500 company’s budget for the year.Logan was a financial consultant not that many listened to when he gave his  _fucking professional advice_ but it was their company profits lost, not his paycheck. So he suffered through endless meetings, reminding himself that he could always be hit by a car as a worse alternative.

The worst part was this company’s secretary.

Remus Pearl.

The man was insufferable and he always succeeded in disturbing Logan.No matter what, the man would have some tidbit of unwanted information to share. Unfortunately, today was no different.

“Did you know that you can go your entire life without food?” 

Logan rolled his eyes as he filled out the sign in sheet.“Impossible, human bodies need sustenance to survive.”

“Well, you’d starve to death, but technically that’s the rest of your life.”Remus cackled at Logan’s exasperated face, before handing him the visitors card.

“See you soon pretty nerd.”

“I beg of you to refrain from impractical names.”

“Then beg.” Remus teased as he spun in his office chair.

“How do you even work here.”Logan asked rhetorically and Remus just winked before pointing to the clock on the wall that was reminding Logan that he was late.

The meeting went about as well as Logan could have hoped- which meant that the board of directors asked for his opinion, ignored it and then came to the conclusion two hours later, which was the solution that he had proposed in the first place.He felt socially and mentally exhausted and he still had three more meetings to go to.

Remus was still down when he turned in the card.

“How was it?”

“Horrible as always.”Logan slid Remus the card when the secretary placed a hand over his.

“No I meant how was it that such a genius like you got stuck advising idiots? You’re smart enough to run this company.”

“I didn’t found this company, it’s old money at work here.”

“If you could run it, would you?”

“The probability of me running a company like this is about the same as drowning in an elevator.”Logan pulled his hand away and turned, only to be stopped by Remus.

“If you’re on a sinking cruise ship, the odds are higher.Come back tomorrow Logan Alt.I have a feeling the Duke will wanna talk with you.”

Logan wanted to shake his head, but instead he nodded and left.

...

Remus led him to the Duke’s office, unlocking the door with a keycard.

“Good luck with your interview.”

“Remus, what inter—“

Click.

Logan stood awkwardly in the empty office, mentally cursing the secretary.

That was until Remus walked in about ten minutes later, hair neatly tied back and in a suit that probably cost more than the beater car that Logan drove.

“I am the Duke and I must say it’s high time that I dropped in.” He flashed Logan and wicked grin and if you asked the financial advisor later, he’d admit that that was the moment he fell for Remus.

...

Many years later, after Logan became head of the board of directors and after Remus proposed to him in a haunted house, Logan would tuck his twin sons in.

“Remember- the statistical probability of drowning in an elevator is low...”

Virgil and Janus would snuggle closer to each other as their dad trailed off, waiting for him to finish the second half of the famous phrase that their dad had coined in the business world.

Before Logan could ever finish though, Remus would burst in with pillows and extra blankets.

“But never zero!” He would crow out proudly, kissing his husband, much to the protest of the children.

Logan would gladly board that sinking cruise ship.

**Author's Note:**

> lol I wrote two fics today, and they each hade 739 words.
> 
> my tumblr is miraculous-mused, I haven't done a plug in awhile XDDDDD


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